It was another series of first date I have, another coffee shop, another “what do you do for living?”, “what’s your hobby?”, and similar series of first-date question. Me being chatty person passionately answering til he weirdly looking at me and say, “I don’t have that kind of drive in my life. I think you will regret being with me and thinking you just wasting your time.”
I don’t know how to react on that, my first thought was, “But why should I want to be with you if you don’t even think you can be equal to me?”
Then I realize that he may holding himself back for thinking he’s not good enough, I carefully try to read back our conversation, and come to conclusion that he have a good life, good job, good social, good family. Decent if I may say. It’s not like he gave up on life and do what he do because that the thing he only knows what to do.
I then answer, “I think you’re having a content life with good people around you and that’s admirable.”
We then discussed at how he looked at ambitions and self-drive equal to chasing greatness in wealth, fame, glory, or some combination of that, and somehow feeling pressured that a guy has to career oriented which he can’t. I laughed and say, “My drive isn’t about money and power, that’s a bonus. I’m kind of person who strive for happiness, I love doing what I do, or who I do.” (yes, I wink)
For me, strive for greatness is something, but settle for being happy is also another thing. And both are okay as long as you are happy, what’s the point of any of that if you’re not happy? I’ve seen enough guys who trapped on rat race because he feels that he has to on some level of power, or income, and he can’t feel satisfaction and happiness.
Contentment, honey, is a humble happiness.