He ask, on our first date. He was an ex journalist, he thought I was too.
“Few years ago, I blog.”
“Oh, let me see your blog then.”
I open this site to him, “only movie reviews? You don’t have anything personal?”
I cringe and shake my head.
I remember my other writings, it was so bad, it was full of anger because I don’t know how to be more articulate on what I felt. It was full of anger, because I was so afraid on what I feel and I write it like it was a monster I won’t be able to tame. It was so bad that I used it as an outlet to my frustration and rage.
I post few posts about reason why I stop write and that I still want to write. (I know, I was so unstable when I was 24) And I stopped after a bad bad bad bad bad breakup in 2016, I rambled a lot in tumblr.
So he asked, “why don’t you write something personal?”
I smiled, “yeah, maybe.”